ďPlatitudes and Other CulturalĒ


This compilation initially started in 1983.


(Please email me to add to collection)


(Note, newest additions are at the top.)



      (521) He/she is  ball-bearing short of smooth purpose.

      (520) Toes go in first.

      (519) Lies can get you ahead in this word but they can not take you back.

      (518) Dumb as a sock full of popcorn.

      (517) He that has too many friends, has none.

     (516) Does the Devil pound brown bark?      

     (515) As happy as a pig rolling in shit all day.

      (514) Crossed knives, argument coming.

      (513) As happy as a dog with 2 dicks on a street full of lamp posts.

      (512)  Drop a spoon, baby soon.

     (511) He who has the most toys at the end of the game wins. 

     (510) You can put a tuxedo on a goat but it is still a goat.

     (509) The nail that sticks out, gets hammered.

      (508) Luck turns like the tide.

      (507) There is no deodorant like success.

      (506) As busy as 6 ways to Sunday.

      (505) He is as busy as a one arm paper hanger.

      (504) So it's horses for the courses.

      (503) Happy wife, happy life.

      (502) Under every home is a woman.

      (501) Love is blind but not the neighbors.

      (500) If there is a doubt, then there is no doubt.

      (499) In the kingdom of hope, winter never comes.

      (498) When he's even, he's leav'in.

      (497) Even the sun shines on dog shit.

      (496) Ambition is the last refuge of failure.

      (495) Measure twice. Cut once.

     (494) A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

      (493) All are not cooks that walk with long knives.

     (492) One year's seeding means 7 years weeding.

      (491) Bro before Ho.

      (490) If it does not scare the cows, who cares.

     (489) Sure looks like a sticky wicket to me.

      (488) She is a regular Chatty Cathy.

     (487) It donít mean nothing!  (Soldierís refrain during Viet Nam War)

(486) His cheese has slid off his cracker.

(485) Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

(484) Has an IQ of 2 but it takes 3 to grunt.

(483) Warning: objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

(482) He\She couldnít pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

(481) He\she fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

(480) An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

(479) He\she is as smart as bait.

(478) His\her chimneyís clogged.

(477) He\she does not have all his\her dogs on one leash.

(476) Doesnít know much but leads the league in nostril hair.

(475) His\her elevator does not go all the way to the top floor.

(474) He\she forgot to pay his\her brain bill.

(473) Her sewing machine is out of  thread.

(472) His\her antenna doesnít pick up all the channels.

(471) His\her belt does not go through all the loops.

(470) If he\she had another brain, it would be lonely.

(469) He\she is missing a few buttons on his\her remote control.

(468) He\she has no grain in their silo.

(467) He\she is proof that evolution can go in reverse.

(466) His\her receiver is off the hook.

(465) Several nuts short of a full pouch.

(464) His\her skylight leaks a little.

(463) His\her slinky is kinked.

(462) Sin just isnít worth the trouble.

(461) If the shoe fits, itís probably your size.

(460) Slept like a baby.

(459) Slept like a log.

(458) Young men know the rules. Old men knows the exceptions.

(457) What you cannot get out of, get into whole heartily.

(456) We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.

(455) A good laugh is sunshine in a house.

(454) Brief is life but long is love.

(453) One cannot help getting older but you do not have to get old.

(452) Those who do not know, speak.  Those that do know, do not speak.

(451) Bad habits die hard.

(450) Bloomers start rumors.

(449) Fish rot from the head.

(448) Once bitten, twice shy.

(447) If you find yourself in a hole, the best thing to do is stop digging.

(446) Every hour wounds. The last one kills.

(445) I have, therefore I am.

(444) Seven days without laughter makes one weak.

(443) He\she is not the smoothest silk in the store.

(442) Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.

(441) A penny for your thoughts?

(440) Even the wicked get worse than they desire.

(439) Do not ignore the poor or a small wound.

(438) During a tornado is the best time to steal your neighborís pig.

(437) Every path has its puddle.

(436) He who lives on hope, dies of starvation.

(435) There is no economy in going to bed early to save on candles, if the result be twins.

(434) Still waters run deep.

(433) Good fences make good neighbors.

(432) A friend in need is a friend indeed.

(431) Money canít buy happiness.

(430) Talk is cheap.

(429) A Manís word is as good as his bond.

(428) Canít burn a candle at both ends.

(427) When it rains, it pours.

(426) A womanís work is never done.

(425) Children are best seen and not heard.

(424) Every dark cloud has a silver lining.

(423) Everything that goes up, must come down.

(422) Time flies when you are having fun.

(421) Never piss into the wind.

(420) Home is where the heart is.

(419) A manís home is his castle.

(418) Beauty is only skin deep.

(417) Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

(416) Might makes right.

(415) Faith moves mountains.

(414) Honesty is the best policy.

(413) Two wrongs do not make a right.

(412) Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

(411) Does the ďendí justify the means?

(410) Cold hands, warm heart.

(409) A fool and his money is soon parted.

(408) There is a sucker borne every minute.

(407) Look before you leap.

(406) Canít tell a book by its cover.

(405) Necessity is the mother of invention.

(404) Canít teach an old dog new tricks.

(403) Let sleeping dogs lie.

(402) Waste not, want not.

(401) People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

(400) Cheaters never win.

(399) You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink.

(398) A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

(397) Thatís a tough road to hoe.

(396) The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill.

(395) You have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.

(394) Winnerís never cheat.

(393) You are what you eat.

(392) Never say die.

(391) If at first you donít succeed, try, try again.

(390) Itís not whether your win or lose but how you play the game.

(389) A rolling stone gathers no moss.

(388) Be careful what you want, you just might get it.

(387) You donít always get what you want, but sometimes, you get what you need.

(386) Today is yesterdayís tomorrow.

(385) Donít put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

(384) You canít take it with you.

(383) A pot should not call the kettle black.

(382) Takes two to tango.

(381) 2ís company and 3 is a crowd.

(380) The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

(379) Beggarís canít be choosers.

(378) Rich people arenít happy.

(377) Money is the root of all evil.

(376) A penny saved is a penny earned.

(375) Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.

(374) A stitch in time saves nine.

(373) Heís so crooked, you will have to screw him into the ground when he dies.

(372) Neither a lender for borrower be.

(371) Itís better to have loss at love than to have never loved at all.

(370) You got to play to win.

(369) Actions speak louder than words.

(368) A picture is worth a thousand words.

(367) Better to give than receive.

(366) Donít put the cart before the horse.

(365) Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

(364) Where there is smoke, there is fire.

(363) Smoke follows beauty.

(362) Spare the rod, spoil the child.

(361) A honest dayís work for an honest dayís pay.

(360) The squeaky wheel gets the oil.

(359) To err is human. To forgive is divine.

(358) Easy come, easy go.

(357) A watched pot never boils.

(356) The lord giveth and the lord taketh away.

(355) Donít count your chickens before they are hatched.

(354) You made your bed and now you have to lie in it.

(353) Man cannot live by bread alone.

(352) No man is an island.

(351) Good things come to he who waits.

(350) Penny wise, pound foolish.

(349) An once of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

(348) Life is a feast and everyday above ground is a banquet.

(347) Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

(346) Loose lips sink ships.

(345) If the shoe fits, wear it.

(344) It is easier said than done.

(343) Speak softly and carry a big stick.

(342) Rome was not built in a day.

(341) Easy as falling off a log.

(340) Donít cry over spilt milk.

(339) You canít fool an old fool.

(338) Thatís water over the dam.

(337) Donít burn your bridges behind you.

(336) Only takes one bad apple to spoil the whole barrel.

(335) If you canít say something nice, donít say anything at all.

(334) Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

(333) If you canít stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

(332) If you canít  pay the fiddler, donít dance.

(331) You have to learn to walk before you can run.

(330) Sometimes, you canít see the forest for the trees.

(329) What goes around, comes around.

(328) Haste makes waste.

(327) Lucky at cards, unlucky at love.

(326) It will grow back! (Soldierís refrain in Korea, 1970ís)

(325) Charity starts at home.

(324) There is no fury like a woman scorned.

(323) Lightening never strikes in the same place twice.

(322) You reap what you sow.

(321) A skunk smells his own hole.

(320) It takes one to know one.

(319) He is so poor, he does not have a pot to piss in.

(318) He is as honest as the day is long.

(317) A chain is only as strong as itís weakest link.

(316) Donít make a mountain out of a mole hill.

(315) Cry and you cry alone. Laugh and the world laughs with you.

(314) Misery loves company. (ActuallyÖ.likes miserable company.)

(313) There is more than one way to skin a cat.

(312) Always put your best foot forward.

(311) There is nothing stronger than a motherís love.

(310) Time heals all wounds.

(309) The road to a man's heart is through his stomach.

(308) Dead men tell no lies.

(307) A house does not a home make.

(306) Behind every great man is a woman.

(305) Thatís just how the ball bounces.

(304) He is as thick as a brick.

(303) His eyes are always bigger than his stomach.

(302) Donít bite off more than you can chew.

(301) It will all come out in the wash.

(300) Opportunity knocks only once.

(299) As full as a tick.

(298) Too many cooks spoil the broth.

(297) Will cross that bridge when I come to it.

(296) Never air your dirty laundry in public.

(295) Money does not grow on trees.

(294) Itís who you know.

(293) Hear no evil, speak no evil and see no evil.

(292) The early bird gets the worm.

(291) Donít put all your eggs in one basket.

(290) Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

(289) Cleanliness is next to godliness.

(288) Better late than never.

(287) The last mile is always the longest.

(286) Birds of a feather, flock together.

(285) To each his own.

(284) If god is willing and the creek donít rise, we will get through this.

(283) Itís hard to go south if your traveling north.

(282) Red sky in the morning, sailorís warning. Red sky at night, sailorís delight.

(281) Calm before the storm.

(280) Throw enough against the wall and some of it is bound to stick.

(279) Blood is thicker than water.

(278) Nothing worth having comes easy.

(277) Life is not a bowl of cherries.

(276) Knowledge is power.

(275) A little knowledge is dangerous.

(274) Silence is golden.

(273) Crime does not pay.

(272) Where there is a will, there is a way.

(271) Garbage in, garbage out.

(270) Live and let live.

(269) Nothing last forever.

(268) Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me.

(267) A job worth doing is worth doing right.

(266) An elephant never forgets.

(265) Every thing needs maintenance.

(264) If it feels good, do it.

(263) Forgive and forget. (To forgive is to forget.)

(262) He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.

(261) In every life a little rain must fall.

(260) Donít shake the tree if the fruit is not ripe.

(259) To go is to return.

(258) Build a better mouse trap and the world will beat a path to your door.

(257) Invention is the mother of necessity.

(256) Virtue is itís own reward.

(255) The clothes makes the man.

(254) The sun shines on sinners and saints alike.

(253) If at first you donít succeed, your about average.

(252) Idle hands are the devilís workshop.

(251) A little bit of sugar helps the medicine go down.

(250) Health is a manís only wealth.

(249) Seeing is believing.

(248) You canít make lead into gold.

(247) The richer get richer and the poor get poorer.

(246) Here today and gone tomorrow.

(245) Nothing stands still for long.

(244) You have to spend money to make money.

(243) There is no place like home.

(242) Rank has itís privileges.

(241) To be or not to be, that is the question.

(240) We all have our crosses to bare.

(239) Heroís are born.  Not made.

(238) He who hesitates is lost.

(237) That is the stuff dreams are made of.

(236) There is strength in numbers.

(235) Better safe than sorry.

(234) To the victor goes the spoils.

(233) Evil never sleeps.

(232) Good guys finish last.

(231) The good die young.

(230) Pride cometh before the fall.

(229) Shoot first and ask questions later.

(228) Boys will be boys.

(227) If frogs had wings they would not bump their butts on the ground.

(226) Diamonds are a girlís best friend.

(225) A dog is manís best friend.

(224) Experience is the school of hard knocks.

(223) Blondes have more fun.

(222) Never make a promise you cannot keep.

(221) You canít climb a greased rope.

(220) Never rest on your laurels.

(219) Cream always rises to the top.

(218) Some days, it just doesnít pay to get out of  bed.

(217) Donít get up on the wrong side of the bed.

(216) Keep your whistle and your powder dry.

(215) In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

(214) Donít put all your eggs into one basket.

(213) The best laid plans, often go astray.

(212) Donít bite the hand that feeds you.

(211) Better dead than red.

(210) There is an exception to every rule.

(209) You canít go home again.

(208) Small things amuse small minds.

(207) You never know till you ask.

(206) No fool like an old fool.

(205) Like father, like son.

(204) You can take Mohammed to the mountain but you canít take the mountain to Mohammed.

(203) Absolute power, corrupts absolutely.

(202) Out of sight, out of mind.

(201) Familiarity breeds contempt.

(200) Time waits for no man.

(199) He who laughs last, laughs best.

(198) What is good for the goose should be good for the gander.

(197) The proof is in the pudding.

(196) Tit for tat.

(195) Thatís the way the cookie crumbles.

(194) Give a man enough rope and he will hang himself.

(193) You are a product of your environment.

(192) Sick as a dog.

(191) Beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

(190) Easy as taking candy from a baby.

(189) One day at a time.

(188) Got to have your ducks in a row.

(187) Flattery will get you nowhere.

(186) You scratch my back and I will scratch yours.

(185) An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

(184) The pen is mightier than the sword.

(183) Ö.as cold as a witchís teet.

(182) Monkey see, monkey do.

(181) Fight fire with fire.

(180) You win some and you lose some and some get rained out.

(179) Thatís as clear as mud.

(178) You can dish it out but you canít take it.

(177) Why that is just a lot of hot air.

(176) Old habits die hard.

(175) We are all in this together.

(174) If you want something done, go to the busiest person you know.

(173) If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

(172) Life is a do-it-yourself job.

(171) Some times it is necessary to do something even if it wrong.

(170) Your are either part of the problem or the solution.

(169) Canít have your cake and eat it too.

(168) Never sleep with someone who has more problems than you do.

(167) Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

(166) Use it or loose it.

(165) The best defense is a good offense.

(164) Never gamble with what you cannot afford to loose.

(163) The best things in life are free.

(162) Class beats speed.

(161) The closer to the bone, the sweeter the meat.

(160) Canít get blood from a turnip.

(159) Donít confuse selling and installing.

(158) Ignorance is bliss.

(157) The truth always hurts.

(156) You donít know what youíve got until its gone.

(155) Curiosity killed the cat.

(154) He\she is all foam and no beer.

(153) You can tell the men from the boys by the size of their toys.

(152) Two heads are better than one.

(151) All that glitters is not gold.

(150) If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.

(149) You can never be too rich or too thin.

(148) The meek shall inherit the earth.

(147) ..And so it goes.

(146) I got it straight from the horse's mouth.

(145) A new broom sweeps clean.

(144) Canít rewrite history.

(143) One swallow does not a summer make.

(142) He who cavorts with owls at night, cannot soar with eagles in the morning.

(141) Never go to bed angry with our spouse.

(140)Ö.That is easy for you to say.

(139) Beware of ?ís bearing gifts.

(138) Tell me no secrets and I will tell you no lies.

(137) Never dip your pen in the company ink well.

(136) Stranger things have happened.

(135) Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of toads to find your prince.

(134) You are only as good as your lastÖ.?

(133) She who dies with the most fabric wins.

(132) What have you done for me lately ?

(131) Never wrestle with pigs. You will get dirty and the pigs will like it.

(130) The devil is in the details.

(129) Wishing does not make it so.

(128) To be early is to be on time. To be on time is to be late.

(127) Even Steven.

(126) A journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step.

(125) Never eat yellow snow.

(124) The heart wants what it wants and disregards the rest.

(123) Every thing in moderation.

(122) Be careful who you step on, on your way up, as you just might meet them on your way down.

(121) There is nothing new under the sun.

(120) Big things can come in small packages.

(119) Sooner or later Ö.will have to face the music.

(118) In one ear and out the other.

(117) Remember the door swings both ways.

(116) Just sticking a feather up your butt does make you a chicken.

(115) Thatís like trying to find a needle in a hay stack.

(114) Try? Try? There is no try, only do.

(113) Once you have black, you will never go back.

(112) There is no such thing as a free lunch.

(111) HeÖÖlies like a rug.

(110) Better lucky than smart.

(109) If I did not have no luck, I would not have any luck at all.

(108) You can please some if the people some of the time but you can not please all the people all of the time.

(107) If it does not kill you, it makes you stronger.

(106) The harder they come, the harder they fall.

(105) Two lefts donít make a right..

(104) Not having money is the root of all evil.

(103) Many are called but few are chosen.

(102) Clean as a whistle.

(101) Politics makes strange bed fellows.

(100) Has it made in the shade.

(99) Wolf in sheepís clothing.

(98) Seek and yea shall find.

(97) One mansí trash is another manís treasure.

(96) Never take more than you need.

(95) Sugar draws more flies than vinegar.

(94) He\she is as sharp as a tack.

(93) He\she is getting long in the tooth.

(92) Sometime a boot in the ass is a kick in the right direction.

(91) He got it for a song.

(90) A little work never hurt anybody.

(89) Make hay while the sun shines.

(88) Hard work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

(87) Darkest just before the dawn.

(86) As angry as a bear.

(85) Bored to tears.

(84) He who travels the fastest, travels alone.

(83) Wasnít in the cards.

(82) Fits like a glove.

(81) As hard as nails.

(80) No truer words were ever spoken.

(79) Gravity sucks.

(78) Leave nothing to chance.

(77) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

(76) As nutty as a fruitcake.

(75) As horny as a hoot owl.

(74) Be prepared for anything.

(73) There are no atheists in fox holes.

(72) Just do it and ask for forgiveness latter.

(71) Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

(70) Religion is the opiate of the people.

(69) Time waits for no man.

(68) He\she sure is a tall drink of water.

(67) Ö.thatís like trying to pack 10 pounds of ?? into a 5 pound bag.

(66) Lessons learned.

(65) Oh, go jump in a lake.

(64) Sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you.

(63) Hope springs eternal.

(62) If it had been a snake, it would have bit you.

(61) I love humanity, its people I canít stand.

(60) Ever dog has his day.

(59) Cannot make a purse out of a sowís ear.

(58) For every shoe there is a mate.

(57) Pleased as punch.

(56) Not his\her cup of tea.

(55) Floats my boat.

(54) Boy, is he\she in left field.

(53) Better mind your Pís and Qís.

(52) He\she does not have both oars in the water.

(51) Always keep your eye on the ball.

(50) Keep your nose to the grindstone.

(49) He\she has too many irons in the fire.

(48) He\she is as smart as a whip.

(47) He\she is as slow as molasses in January.

(46) Boy, he\she sure is behind the eight ball.

(45) He\she\itÖ. sure is a pain in the ass.

(44) Too many chiefs and not enough Indians.

(43) He\she is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

(42) He\she is wrapped too tight.

(41) He\she is a six pack short of case.

(40) Been down this road before.

(39) Two rights do not make a left, but two rights do.

(38) If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

(37) As easy as pie.

(36) He\she looks like the cat that swallowed the canary.

(35) Wolf at the door.

(34) Father knows best.

(33) Mother knows best.

(32) He\she is in the catbird seat.

(31) Break a leg.

(30) The fruit does not fall very far from the tree.

(29) He who breaks apart a thing to see how it works, has left the path of wisdom.

(28) Words donít cook rice.

(27) I may be stupid but you are ugly and I can always loose weight.

(26) Money makes the world go around.

(25) The harder you work, the more luck you will have.

(24) You have to know somebody.

(23) What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but looses his soul?

(22) Save the best wine for last.

(21) No sense beating a dead horse.

(20) Looks can be deceiving.

(19) Something smells in the state of Denmark.

(18) Let your smile be your umbrella.

(17) Sex sells.

(16) Sometimes, new eyes see more clearly.

(15) He\she has more fear than a beer in front of as thirsty man.

(14) Well that is not any skin off his\her butt.

(13) A wink is as good as a nod to a blind man.

(12) When the gods want to punish us, they answer our prayers.

(11) He\she is a few clowns short of a circus.

(10) He\she is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

(09) He\she is an experiment in artificial stupidity.

(08) He\she is a few beers short of a six-pack.

(07) He\she is dumber than a box of hair.

(06) He\she is a few peas short of a casserole.

(05) He\she doesnít have all his cornflakes in on box.

(04) The wheel is spinning, but the hamsterís dead.

(03) She\he is one Fruit Loop shy a full bowl.

(02) He\she is one taco short of a combination plate.

     (01) He\she is a few feathers short of a whole duck.


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