10/31/2012
By Candy Louise Stultz
I cant honestly remember my first rodeo but I m sure it was scary.
I can remember being crushed, I crumbled and was broken.
I remember not believing I would survive. I cant forget how hard it was to heal and rebuild.
I also lived to tell about it now.
Rodeo after rodeo I still got back on the horse somehow.
So This isnt my first rodeo.
I am the connoisseur, the czar, an expert, on hideous, catastrophic, cruel, anguished, and brokenhearted, let downs of love.
I am a professional of betrayed belief and trust.
Fool and victim has been my muse for a life time.
Life can inflame dormant feelings at anytime.
At my age Ive lived through so many debilitating feeling controlled afflictions.
When it comes to depression and hurt I am the authority.
I at an age I have felt hurt, disappointment, failure, betrayal, embarrassment, distress and grief at least once.
This isnt my first rodeo.
Being a live means I am vulnerable to feelings.
Rodeo after rodeo I still got back on the horse somehow.
This isnt my first rodeo.
I hurt and feel failure, loss, grief and sadness from lifes ups and downs as I always have.
I also am an age where I have developed a subjectively, understanding about myself.
My father says I am genetically empathic.
I will always feel the shock and flood of feelings life contains.
I am no more immune from sadness now then my first rodeo.
I also have lived long enough to understand there is no last rodeo.
Rodeo after rodeo I still got back on the horse somehow.
Why I get back on that horse is because this isnt my first rodeo.
I have lived to tell about the rodeo.
I keep living year after year, depression after depression.
But guess what?
This isnt my first rodeo.
This isnt my last rodeo.