10/31/2012

By Candy Louise Stultz

 

 

 

I canít honestly remember my first rodeo but I m sure it was scary.

 

 I can remember being crushed, I crumbled and was broken.

 

 I remember not believing I would survive. I canít forget how hard it was to heal and rebuild.

 

I also lived to tell about it now.

 

Rodeo after rodeo I still got back on the horse somehow.

 

So This isnít my first rodeo.Ě

 

I am the connoisseur, the czar, an expert, on hideous, catastrophic, cruel, anguished, and brokenhearted, let downs of love.

 

I am a professional of betrayed belief and trust. 

 

Fool and victim has been my muse for a life time.

 

Life can inflame dormant feelings at anytime.

 

At my age Iíve lived through so many debilitating feeling controlled afflictions.

 

When it comes to depression and hurt I am the authority.

 

 I at an age I have felt hurt, disappointment, failure, betrayal, embarrassment, distress and grief at least once.

 

This isnít my first rodeo.Ě

 

Being a live means I am vulnerable to feelings.

 

Rodeo after rodeo I still got back on the horse somehow.

 

This isnít my first rodeo.

Ě

I hurt and feel failure, loss, grief and sadness from lifeís ups and downs as I always have.

 

I also am an age where I have developed a subjectively, understanding about myself.

 

My father says I am genetically empathic.

 

 I will always feel the shock and flood of feelings life contains.

 

I am no more immune from sadness now then my first rodeo.

 

 I also have lived long enough to understand there is no last rodeo.

 

Rodeo after rodeo I still got back on the horse somehow.

 

Why I get back on that horse is because this isnít my first rodeo.Ě

 

I have lived to tell about the rodeo.

 

I keep living year after year, depression after depression.

 

But guess what?

 

This isnít my first rodeo.Ě

 

This isnít my last rodeo.Ě

 

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